


Alec

by black_rose4



Series: Writing For Others [13]
Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 19:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15419955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_rose4/pseuds/black_rose4
Summary: Alec Ryder's death has weighed heavy on Ava's heart ever since it happened. Thankfully, a friend is there to lend an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.Part of a trade, featuring radpuppeteer's gal Ava Ryder and some Suvi because I loooove Suvi.





	Alec

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RadPuppeteer](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=RadPuppeteer).



She’d not expected to feel this way. 

When her father had died, she had grieved. She had felt his death heavily, and then accepted it and continued on with her life because she had to. Because now she’s the Pathfinder, and the Pathfinder has to continue on, no matter what. Even if that means putting personal feelings like grief aside. 

And so she did. 

She hadn’t expected to still feel his loss after all this time. To look out at the stars and feel a hole in her heart because he wasn’t there to look at them with her. To see the work she’s been doing - all a result of his passing - and for him not be there to share in her victories or to grieve with her in her losses. The thought of it all weighs heavy on her heart, makes it ache terribly. As does the fact that she never even got to say goodbye. 

Ava looks out at the stars as they speed past her window. Another time she’d want to study them, to learn their constellations and the stories behind them. So many new stories to learn, a whole galaxy’s worth in fact. But right now she’s content to simply watch them go by in a blur and pay them no heed. Right now she wants the ground to swallow her up like it should’ve done back on Habitat 7. 

“Ryder?”

A voice shakes her from her inner musings and Ava turns to find Suvi in the doorway, two steaming cups of tea in her hands. Her brow is furrowed with worry. “I came for that cup of tea you promised. Is now a bad time?”

Ava shakes her head. “No, it’s fine. I was just...miles away.”

Suvi joins her by the window, setting their tea down on the coffee table and then settling on the other sofa. She waits a moment for Ava to respond, then asks, brow still furrowed, “Is everything okay?”

Ava smiles weakly. Suvi doesn’t buy it. “It’s fine. I just-” She sighs. “Dad.” 

“You missing him?”

Ava frowns. “I guess so. Which is strange really, because I didn’t think I was close enough to him to even miss him. Don’t get me wrong, we got along, it’s just he always seemed to favour Alix over me. He spent more time with him, paid more attention to him. You know how it is.”

Suvi places her hand over Ava’s, shoots her a tender look. “He was still your father. And heck, he gave his life for you. That surely shows how much he cared for you.”

“Which is why,” Ava explains, “I’m so stuck in my head right now. I was never expecting to become Pathfinder. Given how much more he trained Alix, it was pretty obvious who dad wanted to be his successor. God, I think even Cora knew that, not that readily she’d admit it. 

“But then everything happened so quickly. And my helmet broke and then he was giving me his and there was nothing I could do to stop him. And then he was dying instead of me, right before my eyes. And I couldn’t even say goodbye to him or try and argue with him because I was still choking for air while my suit adjusted to the fact that I now had a working helmet but was also still oxygen deprived. 

Ava sighs. “I know- I know that your parents dying before you isn’t something extraordinary, but he gave his life for me, Suvi. And I- I dunno. I still feel like maybe I could’ve done something else. And then he wouldn’t have had to give me his helmet and I wouldn’t have to feel like he died because of me. Because I do feel like that. And I think about it all the time. All these things that I’m doing, he should be the one doing them, not me. And every time I have to talk to someone new and introduce myself and they ask where’s Alec and then look disappointed when I explain that they’ve got me instead, I’m reminded of that all over again. And I hate it, Suvi, I really hate it.” 

“Oh, Ava.” Suvi squeezes her hand, holds it tight. “He may not be with us anymore, but he’s still here. And here.” She points first to her heart, then to her head. “So long as you remember him and talk to him and fight for him, he’s never gone. Not fully.”

Suvi gives her hand another squeeze and smiles. “And as for those people who say that shite, well they’re just dicks, aren’t they? And dicks are never worth worrying over.” 

Before Suvi can react, Ava’s out of her seat and throwing her arms around her. Suvi returns the gesture, rubbing little circles on back when she hears a small sniffle come from over her shoulder. “Thank you.”

Suvi shrugs nonchalantly, though Ava’s words warm her heart. “What’re friends for, eh? And hey, I’m always here if you need anything. Doesn’t matter when it is or how small you think it is. I’m here to listen. Got it?” 

Ava hugs her tighter. “Thank you, Suvi. Truly.” 

  
  


 


End file.
